just uploaded a few new photos of before/after bathtime.  I’ll have to spend more time getting the AWB (white balance) right on the photos, and figuring out how to organize gallery better.  To view the photo gallery, there’s a photo tab at the top right of this page, and I’ll put a link in the link section.

E took e to get weighed today, and she’s putting on the weight.  The other night, she finally slept through the night!!  I think E should buy a lottery ticket.  Of course we were up at 4:30am wondering what was going on.  😐 

Alas, it was not to last… she was up at 4am last night.  I think putting her on a schedule definitely helps as she usually dozes off around 11-midnight, and goes for about 4.5 hours on average.

Looking back, I can see that this blog is heavily weighted towards the pregnancy/birth/baby topics, and I KNOW how exciting that is for non-parents.  Now that things are settling into a routine (sort of), I’m putting together a list of non-baby things to write about for the future. 

So if I could write and send a letter back in time to myself, to say a year ago, how would I describe the first 39 days of being a parent?  Hmmm, excellent question.  I think I’ll just start by brainstorming random topics/questions and see what comes out.

1) How hard is parenting?  I think our neighbour said it best.  It’s not that any of the tasks are that difficult (exception- breast-feeding).  Changing diapers, burping, mixing formula, bathing baby, etc.  But the hard part is in having to do it almost around the clock.  There are things that are easy to do during the day, but when duty calls at 4:30 am, and you’re in a very deep sleep… that’s hard.  And that’s if you know what to do.  Sometimes there are situations where we don’t have the answer… experience just takes time to gain.  At least E and I can tag-team and take shifts, I don’t know how single parents manage sometimes. 

2) Sleep, and getting baby to do it during the night.  I think the most telling stat is how quickly the frequency of posts dropped off in the past month.  Not that we didn’t have things to write about, but the fatigue factor (mostly mental) set in.  I can remember when something interesting happened, but between starting a new job and dealing with a new baby, the last thing I wanted to do was sit in front of the computer.   Looking back, getting baby on a flexible schedule was a very good idea.  Feed roughly every 3 hours, and in the hours between 9-11, stuff her full of formula so she can have a good sleep.  I think our record is 6 hours! 

Here is a pic of e after drinking 4 oz.  No, I’m not throttling my daughter, it’s how you hold her when burping.  Just to relate, 4oz for her is like an adult downing a Super Slurpee cup full of formula… every 3 hours!

3) Hobbies/Exercise?  What’s that?  Yep, haven’t been able to do much exercise or spend any time on our hobbies.  I’m amazed my tropical fish haven’t turned on each other, and that our houseplants haven’t grown roots over to next door in search of sustenance. 

We definitely miss things like playing tennis, swimming… I miss hockey, going to the range, etc. but I think that those and other activities will slowly come back in a few months time.  Some things, like learning to ride a motorbike, might be on hold for a few years, but we’ll play it by ear.  I also suspect some of our old hobbies will be replaces by new ones to do with raising a family!

I think the challenge for us right now is to figure out a way to get some physical activity in.  It’s important, otherwise we’re going to get run down quickly, but exercise is usually the last thing on your mind after a long night. 

Thankfully the weathers been fantastic, so we can go for walks, but it definitely can be a production just to goto the mall.  I remember the days of being able to run multiple errands and being very efficient about it… but taking her around means planning the proper logistics, etc. 

Here’s a photo of her strapped in and ready to go.

4) Obsession with Life Channel and Nanny 911.  This is just my observation, but it seem like when I come home, E is watching something about giving birth or raising kids on TV.  Of course this is in addition to her regular TV lineup.  I remember flipping right by these shows before having kids, but now, some of it seems strangely relevant.  I still think a good book beats any of these TV shows, but finding the time to read is also a challenge.

5) Pooh.  I don’t know why, but the last month seems to be centered on this topic. 

– At the hospital, it was “when did she last pooh, and how much and what color?”  We had to carefully log everything, and it was obvious we lacked the necessary vocab to describe it all.  Like the Inuit having 40 different words for snow, my vocab is pretty limited on the subject.  However we adapted and came up with our own descriptive terminology- “black tar, dark seaweed, grey poupon, french’s mustard”  I avoided any food requiring condiments for quite some time.

– At home.  We’ve relaxed on the recording this sacred event, but it’s still very much a current topic.  Since she upped her formula intake to 4oz a feeding, she’s been able to overflow any diaper.  OH THE HORROR.  There have been occasions where I have to call a code red- meaning we need to get the bathtub ready. 

 Personally, my life seems to revolve around this topic on a daily basis.  Here are some common phrases to give you an idea of what I mean, and keep in mind that we also have 2 cats with very active bowels.

 “I think the baby poohed”… “Can you collect the garbage, and don’t forget the cat pooh and diapers”… “That cat pooh really stinks, can you scoop the pooh now?”… “We need to clean the pooh off the (insert any surface or fabric)”… “Ugh, can you smell that pooh?!”… and my favorite- “I think the pooh leaked out”

 I think I’m beyond desensitized. 

 And finally in closing, here’s one more baby picture.  She’s always had a strong neck, from the day she was born she had some control over her head, but being a baby, her head/neck was still pretty floppy.  Yesterday, E was carrying e, and she lifted her head up to look around.  It may not seem significant (certainly to non-parents, believe me, I understand…) but for us it was kind of a milestone.  She’s starting to interact with her world and take notice.  As a parent, it’s a great feeling, and is just the beginning of many wonderful discoveries.  A few seconds after the photo was taken, her head flopped back like a Muppet… but don’t worry, everything’s ok.  🙂

Welcome to our new site!  Thanks to Lester for helping set everything up.  After a cursory look around, there’s a lot of features to take advantage of, and of course we’ll be posting to a pretty cool photo gallery… once I get time to figure stuff out.

So back to Erica… In some ways, it’s been the longest month in recent memory, but at the same time, it’s gone by so quickly.   

Looking back at older photos, it’s amazing to see how quickly things are changing.

Yesterday we had her 30 day dinner.  At first, we were debating whether or not to have it.  I think this custom, and probably a lot of other Chinese traditions concerning babies has a lot to do with the high infant mortality rate a few generations ago.  If your baby makes it to 30 days, it has a good chance of survival, and so it’s cause for celebration!

For us, we debated back and forth about this… and two factors stuck out.  First, you only get one chance to have a celebration of this type, and years from now we didn’t want to regret not having one.  But more importantly, Erica is the first grandchild for both our families… and there were a lot of first time Uncles and Aunties as well.  Erica managed to sleep through most of it, but it was good to see both families present and smiling as they got to see and hold her.  

It’s one of those things, but the timing was such that my parents and sister couldn’t attend… and due to the short notice (big sidebar story about that) Uncle Albert/Aunt May and my maternal Grandad couldn’t make it. 

I spent most of the night just standing back and observing everyone interact with her- Erica is one lucky girl.  I see the happiness that she brings to everyone, and how quickly our relatives have bonded and accepted her.  Everyone has been very generous and very gracious. 

So for our baby, our relatives, and our friends, we were pleased to host this dinner.  For those that could not make it, we’ll be sure to visit soon… or put her in front of a webcam.  🙂

Here’s an interesting thing we read from the Baby Whisperer.

From the first few days of life, you can see clues as to what type of baby you have. The types are:

1) Angel
2) Textbook
3) Touchy
4) Spirited
5) Grouchy

The labels are pretty descriptive, so I won’t go into detail as to what they mean.

As with most personality tests, the categories are not mutually exclusive. There are 20 multiple choice questions that are answered by both parents to generate a raw score for each category.

E and I both answered the questions, and came out with very similar results so at least we both agree what e is like.

Drumroll… apparently we have a mostly Textbook baby, with some Spirited Angelic qualities thrown in. So she’s fairly predictable- we can calm her down as long as we figure out what it is she needs, and she’s pretty good natured. Loud noises, new environments, and strangers don’t really startle her.

So here’s the interesting thing. The author states that these traits are evident later on in life, even well into adolescence and beyond. So can your baby personality be a strong predictor to what you are likely to be later in life?

My little experiment was to ask my mum to read the 5 descriptions, and apply them to myself and Vennie. Mum described Vennie as being an “Angel” while I was a “Touchy” baby. Sigh, still to this day my Sister still have my parents completely swindled…

Ok, so the book says that an Angel baby has an easy going disposition and easily adapts to structure. Is this my sister today? I’ll let those who know her decide that, however my Mum now says the roles have reversed. As Adults, she’s the touchy one while I’m now the Angel. :->

As for Touchy babies, they need a structured, predictable routine. Hmm, I will admit that I work best when my day is structured, and I would say my sister is better at adapting to change.

This isn’t to say that I must have tri-color pasta with meat sauce every Wednesday at 6:25pm, but I think this is an interesting spin on the Nature vs Nurture discussion. The book’s view is that a lot of our personality is due to our environment and upbringing, but there seems to be a base portion of our behaviour that is set in our genes.

I’m sure this will generate a lot of discussion among parents, especially those who have (supposedly) finished raising their kids. 🙂

Today Erica met her Great-Grandpa.

For me, I took pause to think about this special visit. For one, it’s a day like today that makes us miss our dear Grandma even more… to think how thrilled beyond words she would have been to meet Aston and Erica.

On the other hand, I was very happy for my Grandfather. I wonder what he’s thinking in this photo, we may never know until we get to see our own Great-grandbabies.

From the clues he gave though, I think he was filled with pride, concern, and happiness. For starters, he called to see if she was feeding well, and if she was getting enough milk. Second, he actually came over for a visit (he made it back in time for his TV shows), third- he got new prescription glasses (this, however may also be for the “ladies”), and lastly- he gave her a beautiful name that only a poet can.

This is one of those interesting instances where the English language isn’t granular enough to capture the meaning of the Chinese phrase. I’m sure this goes both ways for all languages, but we don’t have 23 types of snow here.

I didn’t know this until I had to buy an engagement ring, but if you have a good quality stone, bring it outside along with a lesser quality stone. Hold them both under the sunlight and look deep into the stone. The lesser quality will reflect the light back, but the better quality stone will have this brilliance or “internal fire”. I guess another word for it is the stone’s lustre. As soon as I saw this in E’s diamond, I knew that was the one. (shameless plug for J&M Coin in Metrotown).

Her name is Yuek Ying- “like the lustre of the jewel.”

My mother’s name is Yuet Ying, but the “Ying” part is pronounced differently and has a different meaning.

Car seat/stroller mahem…

Today we also went and got her a stroller. I’ll save this topic for another day, but I can say that it’s easier to shop for a car than for a stroller/car seat/infant carrier.

We can’t say enough about the staff at “Baby’s World.” They were the most helpful and informative staff, and their prices are competitive. We went back to “Baby’s World” because of the great information we got from Amy, and we are highly recommending this place to other parents because of the service we got from Nadia.

As mentioned, we went in for a stroller, and of course we talked about the car seat that we bought used, to make sure it fit into the stroller, etc. Nadia asked if our car seat base was installed properly.

When I went to pick up baby from the hospital, I looked at the car seat base instructions. I fed the belt through and made it look like the pictures. The base felt loose, but the car seat instructions made Ikea furniture assembly instructions look like a NASA flight manual, so I just trusted that the belt and base would work as designed.

Nadia took one look and said it’s not right. She climbed into the back seat and spent 15 minutes adjusting and reefing on the seatbelt with her entire body to get the correct tension. That woman is strong! Even after that, we needed a shim on the bottom to get everything sorta right. She recommended that we goto a car seat safety specialist to get it checked again.

I drive a Nissan Maxima, and our car seat is a Peg Perego. Those are two pretty common names in their respective fields. It’s not like I’m trying to jam the car seat into a 77′ Vega. I shudder to think what might have happened if we didn’t learn from Nadia how to do it right. The instruction manuals for the car and car seat were both sorely lacking.

I highly recommend for new parents to get the car seat installation double checked. My installation and her installation both looked the same, but looks are deceiving.

Scheduled feeding…

Putting e on a schedule seemed to help. Yesterday she slept most of the day, but we woke her up every 2.5 to 3 hours and did the EASY routine. She fussed after the 1:30am feeding, and took awhile to settle down. The Baby Whisperer book had a section on how to interpret what your baby is trying to tell you. I’m paraphrasing a lot, but some parents automatically interpret their baby’s cry to be hunger, but the book talks about stepping back to look at the situation, and look for specific clues as to what the baby is trying to tell you. They use the SLOW acronym- Stop, Listen, Observe, What’s up.

There’s a table that describes what the problem may be depending on the type of cry and body language. It’s kinda funny to look at the list of problems- hungry, gas, cold/hot, overstimulated, tired, poopy diaper, or need cuddle. I find it funny to compare it to how different the list would be for an Adult- taxes, long commute, crappy job, broken computer, loud neighbors, etc.

So we determined that e’s problem was overtired based on her cry and when she last fed. So as the book recommended, we put her in the bassinet and closed the door. This was about 1:50am. We thought: “we’re just going to sit her and let her cry it out. We checked everything else and she’s just tired. We’ll give her 10 min.” 20 min later, she’s still crying. I’m also surprised to be the first one upstairs to see what’s happening. As soon as I picked her up, she stopped crying- we felt like bad parents.

Actually, we think that the crying tired her out, and cuddling settled her down. One more quick feed, and she was out like a light by 3:30am… and stayed that way until 8:30am! 5 hours of sleep. I think E woke me up at 5:30am to ask if we should wake the baby for a feeding. :-

So we’ll see if the schedule holds for today as well. We’re just starting it a bit earlier so that we’re getting to bed earlier.

Seeing the doctor…

e had her first visit to the doctor today. We bundled her up and strapped her into the carseat. I’ve been driving for 20 years (shudder), but I found myself on the road driving like I’m doing my road test. Drive close to the limit, extra mirror checks, extra shoulder checks, drive slowly over speedbumps. It’s a good thing I suppose, but I gotta give my head a shake.

So the jaundice is not serious, and she hasn’t lost weight feeding only Colostrum. Doc Barton recommended that we supplement with formula. We got home and spent way too much time discussing how to and sterilizing baby bottles and making formula. We had myself, Mom and Dad working on the project… way too many cooks in the kitchen!

After her regular 7pm feeding, e had a visit from her Auntie Jen and Uncle Alex! We put 2 oz into a bottle and decided we’ll just see how much she’ll take. Keep in mind her stomach is the size of a cherry right now.

e took a bit to get used to the bottle and formula at first. She had as much on her chin as she managed to swallow. Second top-up, the little piglet finished up the bottle in less than 5 min.!

When her next feeding came around, E could not wake her up. Damp face cloth, talking, undressing… nothing. Ah, we’ll bathe her! We have a picture of her lying in the tub fast asleep.

:-

She finally woke when we took her out to dry, and she spent all of 13 min (normally it’s like 40 min) feeding before falling back asleep.

New blog planned…

ok, I’m sorry to do this, but I got the www.derekandevonne.com domain name, and will be moving blog and pictures over there. It’s not up yet, and I have to co-ordinate with Lester to get it setup. Thanks to Lester for offering to be e’s personal webmaster. 🙂

I like blogspot, but I wanted something where all pics and text would be centralized. With a baby, I’ll naturally get back into photography, and naturally will be posting a lot more stuff. Flickr is just a bit on the restrictive side for me, it’s free, but you get what you pay for.

Photography… E asked me to photograph all the flowers we got for e. That’s the thing with cut flowers, they are so beautiful, but they only last awhile, so we wanted to take photos.

Before I knew it, I had the tripod, Vivitar105mm 1:1 Macro, Minolta XD-11 out shooting the flowers. I shot under natural light using 100 ISO Fuji print film, and I had a lot of fun shooting macro. Flowers are nice to look at, but they take on a different aspect when you’re looking at them through magnified lens. Anyways, it’s nice getting back into that hobby, and thinking about exposure, composition and DOF.

In talking to friends who are photography buffs, it’s a matter of time before I get a DSLR. I love working with manual SLRs, but I also like seeing the results of the work immediately. Oh well, the film’s ready tomorrow. 🙂

Enjoy the new pics!

Every piece of advice from parents starts out like this: “get your sleep while you can.”

Then you hear about the stories of babies fussing through the night and the late night feedings…

And then it’s your turn…

What’s interesting is that we have had ok nights at the hospital. First night home was ok as well. Both nights we managed about 3-4 hours of straight sleep.

Last night started out similarly- with a feeding around midnight. But from that point on, Erica (e) was fussing a lot, and just would not fall asleep in the bassinet. The only thing that gave her comfort was feeding, but it turned out that the feeds were shorter than normal, and almost on the hour. After the feeds, she would quiet down, but minutes after putting her in the bassinet, she’d start crying again. We had frequent diaper changes, burping sessions, swaddling/no swaddling, etc. Nothing seemed to work. 2am… 4am… 5am rolled by. When dawn came, all three of us were just wrecked.

After the ordeal, we looked at each other, hit the books, and tried to figure out what happened. What we determined was that it was likely an upset tummy caused by gas. The changes to the routine yesterday was that we gave her a little water and tried a soother to give E a bit of a break. All night we could hear rumblings in her little tummy (am I really blogging about this?) so we figure those two items just gave her too much gas. Burpings didn’t work as well. Feeding was fine as the multiple diapers proved.

There’s this book we received from Serena’s sis-in-law, the Baby Whisperer, sort of like the Horse Whisperer for babies. It’s a good book, very pragmatic. We’ll review baby books in a future article as we have 5 or 6 of them. Anyways it’s all about setting a schedule for the baby. Feed every 2.5-3 hours on the 4th day, and follow the acronym EASY. Eat, Activity, Sleep, You.

After eating, you do an activity so you don’t sleep right away. As adults, after eating we usually do something before going to bed. Same principle. An activity can be burping, diaper change, bathtime, etc. (am I really blogging about this??) Then she’s put to her own bed/room to sleep.

YOU mean you now have time to do something for yourself- take a shower, eat, relax, etc.

Anyways we put this into effect right away, and hopefully it means a more predictable, peaceful night. That and no more water or soother.

This leads to another interesting question- from all the advice and readings, parents fall into 2 camps- Scheduled feeding or Feed on demand. Before we were leaning towards towards scheduling everything so that baby knows what to expect, and they play by your rules. Of course if the little Hereford is hungry and it isn’t feeding time yet, then we’ll feed, but then adjust the schedule accordingly.

Which is best? We’re not sure. I think most of our friends are Feed on demand. The problem with this is that we had a stretch of 5 hours where e slept. Is that too long to go without feeding, especially at this stage of life? Then we had to cluster feed for the rest of the night to catch up on the number of feedings.

I’m not sure what is best, maybe both methods work, and they each have their pros/cons.

I will say that E has been a trooper. Amazingly attentive and loving as a mother. As parents, we’re learning that you can change the diaper, feed and burp baby, add/remove clothing, and comfort them with different carries, and they still cry. Good thing we have earplugs. 🙂

Sorry if we’re a bit slow in responding to emails. It was a really difficult night, and it took all of us some time to recover today.

We are really looking forward to having everyone over for a visit once we get a routine established.