On July 19th, I came home and E told me that e said her first word! Until then, she’s been babbling quite a bit, saying some actual words, but not in any context. I was skeptical. E told me what her first word was, and so I went over to e, looked at her and said “Up?” Little e looked me straight in the eye, and said “Upppph”… and I could instantly read it in her eyes that she comprehended!
They say it’s a big deal when your child says her first word, and you really don’t understand that until your own kids says it to you for the first time. “Hey, you understand me…. I understand you!” That is so cool!
The day before, AJ called to let us know Grandpa was in the hospital for Pneumonia getting some antibiotics. There was cause for concern as he is 85 with a lung problem… so I planned to visit the next day. I got home from work, and was waiting for a ride to VGH with UR. When he came over, he told me the news that Grandpa was gone…
I thought that when you got older, gained some wisdom, that you could better cope with loss. I learned that is not the case. I won’t go into how I felt that week, other than to say I was glad to have family around to lean on.
As for my Grandfather, all I have to say is captured in the Eulogy and 2 photos, which I now include for the family…
On behalf of the Lau family, I want to welcome and thank everyone for coming today. It’s very heartwarming to see the faces of my Grandparent’s long time friends… to know that you valued their friendship as much as they valued yours.
What a life…
A few years ago, we sat down with grandpa, and with a tape recorder asked him to tell us his story. Often, we take it for granted that those who know our family history will always be around to tell them. Our Grandparents loved to tell stories, and although we remember some of the details, nobody can tell a story like they did. So we decided to interview Grandpa, and record what we call “the Grandpa stories”Grandpa was the eldest son of six surviving children. When he spoke of his childhood, he talked about how his Grandmother brought him to watch Chinese opera with her, and how she was the one who sent him to music lessons. She was the one responsible for his life long passion for music and the arts.
When the war against Japan started in 1937, Grandpa was just 15 and living in HK. As soon as he finished secondary school in 1941, he made the decision to leave his life and family in HK to study Engineering and join the Chinese Army. Grandpa was eventually promoted to Captain, in charge of logistics, and from family photos, he certainly looked dashing in his uniform.
He didn’t talk much about the war, except to say it was a long time ago. We do know that he nearly lost his life on two occasions. First, during the beginning of the war when he was studying engineering, he fell seriously ill, near death, only to be saved and nursed back to health by a caring woman. The second story was told to us by our Grandma. Grandpa was working at his desk. He got up to use the washroom, which was in another building. Moments later a bomb was dropped, and the explosion destroyed the building he sat in moments ago. Once again, he was saved by fate.
It was near the end the war that he met and married my Grandmother in June 1944. They started a family in a time where the China was still under threat from the Japanese; and after the war, the communists rose as the new threat. Just months before the communists took power in China; Grandpa had the foresight to move the family from certain persecution back to HK, to the one place in China that was still under British rule. We remember how fondly our Grandparents talked about China; it was hard for them to leave their homeland.
1965 he and Grandma made another pivotal decision- they decided to move to North America, realizing that HK would never be able to give the same educational opportunities to their sons that North America could provide. Applying to the States and Canada, Canada just happened to be the first to grant admission, and so Grandpa spent a small fortune on air tickets, and the family was off to Calgary… but fate thankfully intervened again, and after a stopover in Vancouver, they decided to stay here.
The 70s and 80s were spent working, going to Church, traveling, and being the best Grandparents to a growing number of Grandchildren. In the late 80s, Grandpa was finally able to retire for good.
One of the secrets to a fulfilling life is giving and being in service to others. Grandpa was always there to open his door to help friends and family. Back in the 1950s, he practically raised his brother and sisters along with his own large family. He and Grandma devoted many hours to the Church- helping in many different capacities. He gave guidance and support when needed, even helping many of us grandkids with mathematics; and as we got older, helping us with the problems of growing up. He rarely told us what to do; rather, he gave advice and insight from his years of experience. Grandpa gave to us in other ways- if you enjoy taking photos, playing a musical instrument, or drawing… that’s from Grandpa. If you enjoy raising fish in an aquarium, target shooting, collecting gadgets, working with your hands, or doing word searches or Sudoku puzzles… that’s Grandpa. If you place labels on all your belongings, shop at Sears instead of Holt Renfrew, enjoy Church’s Chicken or pork chops with cream of mushroom soup, munch through the biggest jar of Planters peanuts while watching TV, and finish it all off with big bowl of ice-cream for dessert… that’s also Grandpa.
In his lifetime, he was a Civil Engineer, Army Captain and veteran of the Second World War. A skilled craftsman, talented musician and music teacher, photographer, traveler, patron of the arts, a long time church member, and a good friend to many. A big brother, devoted husband, father to 5 boys, grandfather to 9, and great-grandfather to a little boy, and to a little girl. Although he didn’t say it with words, I could tell that Grandpa had a special place in his heart for the newest generation. I can only imagine how proud he must have been.
When Ma-ma passed away, Yeh-Yeh wrote that part of his heart was taken away… but now they are reunited, happy, together once again. Ma-ma, Yeh- Yeh, I don’t know how to thank the both of you for all the sacrifice, guidance, and love you have given us. One day, when my daughter is old enough, I will show her a picture of the both of you, and I will be so proud to tell her all about you and your stories. I know my sister and cousins will do the same for their families.
Yeh-Yeh, thank you for being a good man. Goodbye for now…
